ای خوري! نن که د چا لور خور او ترور يې خو سبا به ان شآء الله د يو چا مور يې

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ی خوري!

ای خوري! نن که د چا لور خور او ترور يې خو سبا به ان شآء الله د يو چا مور يې. خو دا يو څو ضروري او لازمي خبري مي په هوش او جوش واوره، ځير شه د عقل او حکمت په ترازو يې وتله د فکر او سوچ په رڼا کي ترې پند او عبرت واخله او د يقين په روښنايي کې د ګمان توري پردې ترې لیري کړه.

ای خوري! ته پوهېږې او ځان پېژنې چه ته څوک يې د څه لپاره پيدا شوې یې او څنګه ژوند بايد وکړې د خدای جل جلاله او ځان پېژندني په چاپېریال کې سترګي وغړوه، د يقين په آینه کي خپل سيرت او صورت ته ځير او پام وکړه. ښه او بد روا او ناروا ظلم او تجاوز،عدل او انصاف، دوست او دوښمن، نيک او بد ښه وپېژنه په رڼو او له عبرته ډکو سترګو وګوره چه ستا د حيا او ناموس دوستان ډېر دي که دښمنان، ستا خواخوږي ډېر دي که بدخواهان.

ای خوري! کفري نړۍ زيار باسي چه ستا له سره د حيا پوړنی لیري کړي او پر ځای يې د خپلي شرمېدلي ديموکراسۍ تاج کېږدي چه ستا هر څه په کي ليلام او بې ارزښته شي ستا بدن لوڅ او بربنډ کړي ستا ستر مات کړي او ستا آواز د خلکو تر غوږونو ورسوي.

ای خوري! پام کوه ستا د سر ټيکری ستا لپاره سکندري دېوال دی با خبره او هوښياره اوسه که دا دېوال دي خدای جل جلاله مه کړه ونړاوه نو ستا ټول ژوند او ځواک به ولوټول شي. دا دېوال خو ستا د حرم او حيا ساتونکی ستا د عفت نګهبان او ستا د ناموس محافظ دی.

دا ستا لپاره هم په ظاهري او هم په باطني ډول د ډېر قېمت او ارزښت لرونکی دی. دېته په سپک او ټيت نظر ونه ګورې، ځکه چه دا ستا د همت تاج د غیرت نښه او د اسلامې کلتور نه ماتېدونکی برج دی.

ای خوري! پام کوه د يوې با ارزښته مرغلرې حيثيت لرې. که الله جل جلاله مه کړه ستا حياء او ناموس په قصدي او لاشعوري ډول له لاسه ووځي بيا به ستا قېمت او ارزښت د دښتي او بيابان له ګاڼو څخه هم کم او ټيټ وي بيا به ټول عمر د يو صافې حيثيت لرې چه څوک به لوښي در باندې صفا کوي.

 

ای خوري! دا حجاب او په هغه پوري اړوند آداب ستا د حرم ساتونکي د حيا او ناموس محافظ او ستا د عزت او سر لوړۍ ضامن دي.

دا هغه لوی او نه ماتېدونکی حصار دی چه ستا د ژوند هر څه پکي خوندي او ساتلي دي، تا له هر مضر انسان ساتي ستا د نن او سبا ډېر رازونه او عذرونه يې پټ او محفوظ ساتلي. ته يې د غيرت او شرافت په معنادارو لفظونو کي پوښلې يې. دښمنان غواړي ستا د حرم کیلۍ له همدې لاري لاس ته راوړي. د عزت دښمنان اول ستا له سره د حيا پوړنی لیري کوي او بيا ستا ښکلا او حيا ليلاموي. دا وحشيان ستا سبا ته نه ګوري د دوی ستا د نن سره کار دی فقط د يوه ګړي لذت او خوشحالۍ لپاره ستا ټول ژوند بربادوي او ستا د يوې خولې خندا لپاره تا ته ټول عمر وير او ژړا او فرياد درکوي.

ای خوري! دا هغه شرمېدلي مکاران دي چه د ميني د شربت په نامه تا ته د ابدي نېستۍ او ذلت زهر در کوي. د دوی په کتاب کي د رحم او کرم ټکی نشته دوی د عزتونو لوټماران دي، ستا مظلوميت او محروميت ته نه ګوري فقط د يوې لحظې لذت مزې او خوشحالۍ لپاره ستا له ژوند او بقاء سره لوبي کوي دا شرمښان ستا لپاره بار اچوي چه بيايې ته تنها وګرځوي، د تندي تور او نه پاکېدونکی داغ درته پاتي شي د پېغورونو د کتاب لړۍ شروع شي ته هر چيرته خواره ذليله او د حسرت او نا اميدۍ تر اوښکو لاندي د پټو فريادو په اور وسوځې.

ای خوري! دا خلک د یوه انسان د حیاء قاتلان نه دي، بلکه دا د يوه پاخه امت او سرلوړي ملت لوڼي بې عفته کوي د شهوت او فحشا اډې جوړوي بې غيرتي رواجوي او د انسان کرامت او بشري نزاکت له بېخه وباسي دا ځنګلي ژوند کوي او د هر چا لپاره د ځنګل قانون خوښوي. دوی د هر معنادار لفظ څخه يو بې معنا لفظ جوړوي لکه څنګه چه د انسانانو د حيا او ابرو غله دي همداسي با ايمانه او غيرتي قومونه د نېستۍ او بربادۍ ابدي کندي ته غورځوي.

 

د اعرابي (صحرايي) ښځي خپلی لور ته نصیحت                          
أعوذ بالله من الشّیطْن الرجیم                                        

بسم الله الرحمْن الرّحیم                                             

یوې صحرايي عربي ښځي خپلي لور ته د هغې د واده په شپه نصیحت کاوه او ورته ویې ویل: زما ګراني لوري! که نصیحت د ادب په سبب یا د ناز او محبت په سبب پرېښوول کېدلای ما به تا ته نصیحت نه وای کړی، مګر نصیحت د غافل انسان خبرول دي او د عاقل انسان سره کومک دی، که یوې ښځي و واده او مېړه ته ضرورت نه درلودلای نو د دې مور او پلار به واده نه کولای، که بیا د لور له طرفه د مور او پلار د محبت او ضرورت په سبب واده پرېښوول کېدلای نو ته به د واده کولو څخه تر هر چا مستغني وای، مګر خبره داسي نه ده بلکه واده کول د ژوند ضرورت دی.

ګراني لوري! ته د هغه کور څخه جلا کېږې چي په هغه کي پیدا سوې یې او هغه ځالګۍ پرېږدې چي په هغه کي لويه سوې یې او داسي کور ته ورځې چي در معلوم هم نه دی او د داسي ملګري سره ژوند کوې چي مخکنی الفت او پېژندنه نه ور سره لرې، نو زما څخه دغه لس خویونه زده کړه چي دا به ستا د نوي ژوند لپاره نېک بختي او کامیابي وي:

اول: د خپل خاوند سره په پوره قناعت ژوند او ملګرتیا کوه.

(یعني: څومره چي دي د خاوند مالي قدرت وي څومره چي د هغه ګټه او تنخاه وي په هغه سره قانعه اوسه او د ده تر قدرت لوړ یا زیات شی مه ځني غواړه، داسي مه کېږه لکه د نن ورځي ځیني ښځي چي په بېځایه مصرفو او بېځایه سیالیو یې د مېړه دنیا او آخرت دواړه ور خراب کړي دي او پر هغه سربېره یې خپل کورنی ژوند هم ور سره تریخ کړی دی، نن ورځ داسي کسان سته چي د میاشتي تنخاه یې دوه، درې زره ده، خو دغه کسان د خپلي ښځي په غوښتنه په کور او لباس کي د هغه چا سره سیالي کوي چي په یوه ورځ کي د ده د میاشتي تر تنخا دوه چنده او درې چنده زیاته ګټه لري.)

دوهم: د خپل خاوند سره په اطاعت، فرمانبرداري او خبره اورېدلو سره ژوند کوه.

(یعني: په کورني ژوند او دنیوي کارو کي د خپل خاوند د خوښۍ مراعت کوه څه چي دي د خاوند خوښه وي هغه کوه، هر څه چي در ته وايي هغه اوره او بېله دلیل ویلو هغه قبلوه، کوښښ کوه چي ټول کارونه دي د خاوند د خوښي او نظریې سره برابر او موافق وي.

تاسي ټولو ته معلومه ده چي د مېړه او ماینې اختلاف داسي اختلاف نه دی چي پر باغ یا پټي یې سره دعوه وي، چي قاضیانو او عریضو ته یې ضرورت پیدا سي،

یا د دوی په منځ کي د دوو مملکتو جنګ دی چي توپ او طیارې ته یې ضرورت پیدا سي، د دوی اختلاف فقط په کوچنیو کورنیو چارو کي پېښیږي نو که په هغه کوچنیو مسایلو کي ښځه اول د خپل ژوند د خوږوالي دپاره تر خپل نظر تېره سي، دوهم د خپل خاوند د رضایت لپاره هغه خپله خبره پریږدي، دغي ښځي هم دنیا هم آخرت وګټل، په دنیا کي یې ژوند آرام، بې جنجاله او خوږ سو، او آخرت یې د مېړه په رضایت سره لاس ته راوړی.

نو هره هغه ښځه چي د خپل خاونده سره کامیابه او خوشاله ژوند غواړي پر دې دا لازمه ده چي د خپل خاوند امر او مشوره په دنیوي او کورنیو چارو کي بېله دلیله و مني، هو په هر هغه شي کي چي د الله جل جلاله نافرماني وي په هغه شي کي نه د مېړه نه د بل چا خبره اعتبار لري او نه د منلو وړ ده، خو په دنیوي او کورنیو چارو کي باید د خاوند خبره ومنل سي

داسي نه لکه د نن ورځي ځیني ښځي چي د خپل خاوند د هري کوچنۍ خبري په مقابل کي د دې رایه او نظر مخالف وي او د خاوند د هري فیصلې په مقابل کي داسي بې اساسه او بې بنیاده دلایل وايي چي هغه دلایل دا جوړوي او د دې په فکر صحي او پر ځای دي خو د خپل مېړه ورأيي او نظر ته هیڅکله نه تسلیمیږي، دغه کار په کورني ژوند کي مخالفتونه او مشکلات په وجود راوړي او ډېر ځله هغه د مېړه او ماینې محبت په نفرت سره بدلوي، د کورنۍ خوږ او آرام ژوند تریخ او په جنجالو ډک کړي، بیا نو دغه ښځه و خپل خاوند او نورو اقرباوو ته دا شکایتونه هم کوي چي زما خاوند زما غوښتني نه راپوره کوي، زما سره بې نیازي او بې پروايي کوي.

نو ځکه هغې پوه او هوښیاري مور خپلي لور ته و ویل: د خپل خاوند سره په اطاعت، فرمانبرداري او خبره اورېدلو سره ژوند کوه.

خویندو! یواځي دا نه چي په دغه مخالفتو سره د مېړه او ماینې په مابین کي نفرت او لیري والی پیدا کیږي بلکه د دغه نفرت اثر د ټولي کورنۍ پر غړو او افرادو هم لویږي او د دوی اولادونه هم بد طبیعته او جنجالي جوړ سي.)

درېیم: د خپل خاوند د لیدلو او بویولو د ځایو ډېره خاصه پالنه کوه.

(یعني: ستا بدن او لباس، خونه او بستر چي د ده د لیدلو او بویولو ځایونه دي د هغو و پاکولو او خوشبویه کولو ته ډېره متوجه اوسه، داسي نه لکه د نن ورځي ځیني ښځي چي ښه لباس او د بدن نظافت یې فقط د ودو، مناسباتو او د نورو خلکو د کورو دپاره وي، خو په خپل کور کي په لغوړن لباس او د اشپزخاني د پیاز او اوږي په بویانو ککړ لباس کي ژوند تېروي.)

څلورم: پام کوه چي د ده سترګي پر تا په بد او خیرن حال کي و نه لګیږي.

پنځم: د ده د ډوډۍ خوړلو وخت و پېژنه، ځکه د لوږي حرارت اور بلونکی دی.

شپږم: د ده د خوب په وخت کي آرامه اوسه، ځکه د خوب خرابوالی قهر راوستونکی دی.

اووم: که دي خاوند فکري او غمجن ؤ باید د ده په حضور خوښي او خوشالي ښکاره نه کړې، ځکه دغه کار د ده په حق کي کوتاهي ده.

اتم: که دي خاوند خوښ او خوشاله ؤ باید د ده په حضور کي غم او پرېشاني ښکاره نه کړې، ځکه دغه کار د ده د فکر خرابونکی دی.

نهم: تر هر چا د ده ډېر عزت کوه پر ده به هم ته تر هر چا ګرانه یې.

لسم: پوه سه چي د خپلي خوښۍ او خوشالۍ و ژوند ته تر هغو نه سې رسېدلای تر څو چي د ده رضاء او غوښتنه که ستا خوښه وي که نا خوښه تر خپلي رضاء او غوښتني د مخه نه کړې.

او الله جل جلاله دي په دغه واده او نوي کور جوړولو کي خیر درته پېښ کړي.

"It is the generous (in character) who is good to women, and it is the wicked who insults them."

 "The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and best of you are those who are best to their wives."

 "Treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers."
Yvonne Ridley is an award-winning journalist of more than 25 years standing and author of two books, In The Hands of the Taliban and Ticket to Paradise. She has spent the last 10 years working for several prestigious Fleet Street newspapers including The Sunday Times, The Observer, The Independent on Sunday and The Sunday Express. She has also expanded into television and radio producing several documentaries from Iraq and Afghanistan. Yvonne hit the headlines in September 2001 when while working for the Daily Express she crossed illegally into Afghanistan and was subsequently held captive by the Taliban for 11 days. Following her release, she read the Qur'an as she had agreed to during her captivity, and converted to Islam in the summer of 2003.
Great Women In Islam
The status of women in islam
Marriage

Prof. 'Abdur Rahman I. Doi Professor and Director, Center for Islamic Legal Studies,
Ahmadu Bello University, Zaira, Nigeria.

Importance of Marriage in Islam

Allah has created men and women as company for one another, and so that they can procreate and live in peace and tranquility according to the commandments of Allah and the directions of His Messenger. The Quran says:

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect." [Noble Quran 30:21]

"And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best." [Noble Quran 16:72]

These verses of the Noble Quran clearly show that in contrast to other religions like Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism etc. which consider celibacy or monasticism as a great virtue and a means of salvation, Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) declared, "There is no monasticism in Islam." He further ordained,

"O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." [Al-Bukhari]

Modesty was regarded as a great virtue by the Prophet. He said, "Modesty is part of faith." [Al-Bukhari]

The importance of the institution or marriage receives its greatest emphasis from the following Hadith of the Prophet,

"Marriage is my sunnah. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me."

With these Quranic injunctions and the guidance from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in mind, we shall examine the institution of marriage in the Shari'ah.

The word Zawaj is used in the Quran to signify a pair or a mate. But in common parlance it stands for marriage. Since the family is the nucleus of Islamic society, and marriage is the only way to bring families into existence, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) insisted upon his followers entering into marriage The Shari'ah prescribes rules to regulate the functioning of the family so that both spouses can live together in love, security, and tranquility. Marriage in Islam has aspects of both 'Ibadah (worship) of Allah and mu'amalah (transactions between human beings).

In its 'Ibadah aspect, marriage is an act pleasing to Allah because it is in accordance with his commandments that husband and wife love each other and help each other to make efforts to continue the human race and rear and nurse their children to become true servants of Allah.

In its mu'amalah aspect, marriage being a lawful response to the basic biological instinct to have sexual intercourse and to procreate children, the Shari'ah has prescribed detailed rules for translating this response into a living human institution reinforced by a whole framework of legally enforceable rights and duties, not only of the spouses, but also of their offspring.

These aspects are beautifully explained in a tradition of the Prophet. It is narrated by Anas that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion because it shields him from promiscuity, adultery, fornication, homosexuality etc., which ultimately lead to many other evils like slander, quarreling, homicide, loss of property and disintegration of the family. According to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) the remaining half of the faith can be saved by Taqwa.

Conditions of Marriage

Careful consideration of the Quranic injunctions and the traditions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) clearly show that marriage is compulsory (wajib) for a man who has the means to easily pay the Mahr (dowry) and to support a wife and children, and is healthy, and fears that if does not marry, he may be tempted to commit fornication (Zina). It is also compulsory for a woman who has no other means of maintaining herself and who fears that her sexual urge may push her into fornication. But even for a person who has a strong will to control his sexual desire, who has no wish to have children, and who feels that marriage will keep him away from his devotion to Allah, it is commendable (Mandub).

However, according to the Maliki school, under certain conditions it is obligatory (fard) for a Muslim to marry even if he is not in a position to earn his living:

If he fears that by not marrying he will commit fornication (Zina).

If he is unable to fast to control his passions or his fasting does not help him to refrain from Zina.

Even if he is unable to find a slave girl or a destitute girl to marry.

However some jurists suggest that if a man cannot procure a lawful livelihood, he must not marry because if he marries without any hope of getting lawful bread, he may commit theft, and in order to avoid one evil (his passions) he may become the victim of another (theft).

The Hanafi school considers marriage as obligatory (fard) for a man:

If he is sure that he will commit Zina if he does not marry.

If he cannot fast to control his passions or even if he can fast, his fast does not help him to control his passion.

If he cannot get a slave-girl to marry.

If he is able to pay the dowry (Mahr) and to earn a lawful livelihood.

Marriage is forbidden (Haram) to a man, according to the Hanafi school, if he does not possess the means to maintain his wife and children or if he suffers from an illness, serious enough to affect his wife and progeny.

It is not desirable (makruh) for a man who possesses no sexual desire at all or who has no love for children or who is sure to be slackened in his religious obligations as a result of marriage.

In order that problems should not arise after marriage the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) recommended that, in the selection of his bride, a man should see her before betrothal lest blindness of choice or an error of judgment should defeat the very purpose of marriage. But this "seeing" is not to be taken as a substitute for the "courtship" of the West. The man should not gaze passionately at his bride-to-be, but only have a critical look at her face and hands to acquaint himself with her personality and beauty. However, if a man so desires, he may appoint a woman to go and interview the proposed bride, so that she may fully describe the type of girl she is.

Since believing men and women are referred to in the Quran, a woman also has the right to look at her potential husband.

The special permission for men and women to see each other with a view to matrimony does not contravene the code of conduct for believing men and women to lower their gaze and be modest which is laid down in the Noble Quran:

Ijbar: A Safety Valve

The consent of both the man and the women is an essential element of marriage, and the Quran gives women a substantial role in choosing their own life partners. It lays down:

"Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner." [Noble Quran 2:232]

However, Imam Malik, one of the four great Imams of the Sunni schools of Islamic jurisprudence, gives a slightly restrictive interpretation to this verse and makes the choice of partner by a Muslim girl subject to the over-ruling power or ijbar of her father or guardian in the interests of the girl herself.

It may sometimes happen that in her immaturity or over-zealousness, a girl may want to marry a man about whom she has distorted information or who does not possess good character or who lacks proper means of livelihood. In such a case, it is better, or rather incumbent upon the girl's father or guardian, that, in the wider interests of the girl, he restrains her from marrying such a worthless man and finds a suitable person to be her husband. Generally speaking, such marriages arranged by fathers and guardians work better than a marriage brought about through western courtship.

The case of Abu Juham bin Hudhaifah and Mu'awiyah ibn Abu Sufyan is relevant here. They proposed marriage to Fatimah bint Ghaith. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised Fatimah not to marry either of them on the grounds that Mu'awiyah was then a pauper and Abu Juham was cruel and harsh. So she married Usamah.

The Free Consent of the Parties

The Quran [4:21] refers to marriage as a mithaq, i.e. a solemn covenant or agreement between husband and wife, and enjoins that it be put down in writing. Since no agreement can be reached between the parties unless they give their consent to it, marriage can be contracted only with the free consent of the two parties. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"The widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until their order is obtained, and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is obtained." [Bukhari]

This aspect is greatly emphasized by Imam Bukhari. He, in fact, gave one of the chapters in his Sahih the significant title:

"When a man gives his daughter in marriage and she dislikes it, the marriage shall be annulled." Once a virgin girl came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said that her father had married her to a man against her wishes. The Prophet gave her the right to repudiate the marriage. [Abu Dawud]

Divorced women are also given freedom to contract a second marriage. The Noble Quran says,

"And when you divorce women, and they have come to the end of their waiting period, hinder them not from marrying other men if they have agreed with each other in a fair manner." [Noble Quran 2:232]

With regard to widows, the Quran says,

"And if any of you die and leave behind wives, they bequeath thereby to their widows (the right to) one year's maintenance without their being obliged to leave (their husband's home), but if they leave (the residence) of their own accord, there is no blame on you for what they do with themselves in a lawful manner." [Noble Quran 2:234]

Thus widows are also at liberty to re-marry, even within the period mentioned above; and if they do so they must forgo their claim to traditional maintenance during the remainder of the year. However, it must be remembered that the power of ijbar given to the a father or the guardian by the Maliki school over their selection of life- partner obtains in all the situations considered above, namely, whether the daughter or the ward is a virgin or divorcee or widow.

Prohibited Marriage Partners

Under the Shari'ah, marriages between men and women standing in a certain relationship to one another are prohibited. These prohibited degrees are either of a permanent nature or a temporary. The permanently prohibited degrees of marriage are laid down in the Noble Quran:

"And marry not those women whom your fathers married, except what has already happened (of that nature) in the past. Lo! It was ever lewdness and abomination, and an evil way. Forbidden unto you are your mothers and your daughters, and your sisters and your father's sisters and your mother's sisters, and your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and your foster-mothers and your foster-sisters, and your mothers-in-law and your step-daughters who are under your mother-in-law and your step-daughters who are under your protection (born) of your women unto whom you have gone into -- but if you have not gone into them, then it is no sin for you (to marry their daughters) -- and the wives of your sons from your own loins, and that you should have two sisters together, except what has already happened (of that nature) in the past. Allah is ever-Forgiving, Merciful." [Noble Quran 4:22-24]

From the above verses, it is clear that a Muslim must never marry the following:

His mother

His step-mother (this practice continues in Yoruba land in Nigeria, where in some cases the eldest son inherits the youngest wife of his father)

His grandmother (including father's and mother's mothers and all preceding mothers' e.g. great grandmothers)

His daughter (including granddaughters and beyond)

His sister (whether full, consanguine or uterine)

His father's sisters (including paternal grandfather's sisters)

His mother's sisters (including maternal grandmother's sisters)

His brother's daughters

His foster mother

His foster mother's sister

His sister's daughter

His foster sister

His wife's mother

His step-daughter (i.e. a daughter by a former husband of a woman he has married if the marriage has been consummated. However, if such a marriage was not consummated, there is no prohibition)

His real son's wife

A great wisdom lies behind these prohibitions on the grounds of consanguinity, affinity, and fosterage. No social cohesion can exist if people do not keep these prohibitions in their minds while contracting marriages.

Temporary prohibitions are those which arise only on account of certain special circumstances in which the parties are placed. If the circumstances change, the prohibition also disappears. They are as follows:

A man must not have two sisters as wives at the same time nor can he marry a girl and her aunt at the same time.

A man must not marry a woman who is already married. However this impediment is removed immediately if the marriage is dissolved either by the death of her former husband, or by divorce followed by completion of the period of 'iddah (retreat).

A man must not have more than four wives at one time. This impediment is, of course, removed as soon as one of the wives dies or is divorced.

A man must not marry a woman during her 'iddah.

Regarding this last prohibition, the Quran expects Muslims to act with the utmost propriety and righteousness. It lays down:

"...but do not make a secret contract with them except in honorable terms, nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled." [Noble Quran 2:235]

This means that a man must not make a specific proposal of marriage to a woman during the time of her 'iddah after the death of her husband or an irrevocable divorce. However, he can send a message saying, for instance, "I wish to find a woman of good character". But if a woman is in the 'iddah of a divorce which is revocable where raja' (return) is possible, a man must not send her even an implied invitation to marry him, because she is still considered as the lawful wife of the first husband. In fact, this restriction is most beneficial because it prevents a man from becoming an instrument of breaking up a family where there are still chances of reconciliation between the wife and husband even though they are moving away from each other.

Two Suitors Seeking to Marry the Same Girl

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) disapproved of two persons competing with one another to secure marriage with the same girl. This is because such a situation is likely to develop bitter enmity between two Muslim brothers.

The Prophet said,

"A believer is a brother of a believer. Hence it is not lawful for him to bargain upon the bargain of a brother, nor propose for (the hand of a girl) after the marriage proposal of his brother, until the latter (voluntarily) withdraws the proposal."

Imam Abu Hanifa, Imam Shafi'i, and Imam Malik, all hold the view that it is a sin to put a proposal of marriage against the proposal of another Muslim brother. However, if a marriage is contracted in this wrongful way it will be sufficient if the second suitor who was successful seeks the forgiveness of the first suitor and of Allah. But Imam Dhahiri considers such a marriage void. It is respectfully submitted that the former view is more rational and sound.


The Question of Hijab: Suppression Or Liberation?

"Why do Muslim women have to cover their heads?" This question is one which is asked by Muslim and non-Muslim alike. For many women it is the truest test of being a Muslim.

The answer to the question is very simple - Muslim women observe HIJAB (covering the head and the body) because Allah has told them to do so.

"O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men). That is better in order that they may be known (to be Muslims) and not annoyed..." [Noble Quran 33:59]

Other secondary reasons include the requirement for modesty in both men and women. Both will then be evaluated for intelligence and skills instead of looks and sexuality. An Iranian school girl is quoted as saying, "We want to stop men from treating us like sex objects, as they have always done. We want them to ignore our appearance and to be attentive to our personalities and mind. We want them to take us seriously and treat us as equals and not just chase us around for our bodies and physical looks." A Muslim woman who covers her head is making a statement about her identity. Anyone who sees her will know that she is a Muslim and has a good moral character. Many Muslim women who cover are filled with dignity and self esteem; they are pleased to be identified as a Muslim woman. As a chaste, modest, pure woman, she does not want her sexuality to enter into interactions with men in the smallest degree. A woman who covers herself is concealing her sexuality but allowing her femininity to be brought out.

The question of Hijab for Muslim women has been a controversy for centuries and will probably continue for many more. Some learned people do not consider the subject open to discussion and consider that covering the face is required, while a majority are of the opinion that it is not required. A middle line position is taken by some who claim that the instructions are vague and open to individual discretion depending on the situation. The wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) were required to cover their faces so that men would not think of them in sexual terms since they were the "Mothers of the Believers," but this requirement was not extended to other women.

The word "Hijab" comes from the Arabic word "hajaba" meaning to hide from view or conceal. In the present time, the context of Hijab is the modest covering of a Muslim woman. The question now is what is the extent of the covering? The Quran says:

"Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them; and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; and that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands..." [Noble Quran 24:30-31]

These verses from the Quran contain two main injunctions:

A woman should not show her beauty or adornments except what appears by uncontrolled factors such as the wind blowing her clothes, and

the head covers should be drawn so as to cover the hair, the neck and the bosom.

Islam has no fixed standard as to the style of dress or type of clothing that Muslims must wear. However, some requirements must be met. The first of these requirements is the parts of the body which must be covered. Islam has two sources for guidance and rulings: first, the Quran, the revealed word of Allah and secondly, the Hadith or the traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) who was chosen by Allah to be the role model for mankind. The following is a Tradition of the Prophet:

"Ayshah reported that Asma' the daughter of Abu Bakr came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) while wearing thin clothing. He approached her and said: 'O Asma'! When a girl reaches the menstrual age, it is not properthat anything should remain exposed except this and this. He pointed to theface and hands." [Abu Dawud]

The second requirement is looseness. The clothing must be loose enough so as not to describe the shape of the woman's body. One desirable way to hide the shape of the body is to wear a cloak over other clothes. However, if the clothing is loose enough, an outer garment is not necessary. Thickness is the third requirement. The clothing must be thick enough so as not to show the color of the skin it covers or the shape of the body. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) stated that in later generations of his Ummah there would be

"women who would be dressed but naked and on top of their heads (what looks like) camel humps. Curse them for they are truly cursed." [Muslim]

Another requirement is an over-all dignified appearance. The clothing should not attract men's attention to the woman. It should not be shiny and flashy so that everyone notices the dress and the woman. In addition there are other requirements:

Women must not dress so as to appear as men.

"Ibn Abbas narrated: 'The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the men who appear like women and the women who appear like men.'" [Bukhari]

Women should not dress in a way similar to the unbelievers.

The clothing should be modest, not excessively fancy and also not excessively ragged to gain others admiration or sympathy.

Often forgotten is the fact that modern Western dress is a new invention. Looking at the clothing of women as recently as seventy years ago, we see clothing similar to Hijab. These active and hard-working women of the West were not inhibited by their clothing which consisted of long, full dresses and various types of head covering. Muslim women who wear Hijab do not find it impractical or interfering with their activities in all levels and walks of life. Hijab is not merely a covering dress but more importantly, it is behavior, manners, speech and appearance in public. Dress is only one facet of the total being. The basic requirement of the Muslim woman's dress apply to the Muslim man's clothing with the difference being mainly in degree. Modesty requires that the area between the navel and the knee be covered in front of all people except the wife. The clothing of men should not be like the dress of women, nor should it be tight or provocative. A Muslim should dress to show his identity as a Muslim. Men are not allowed to wear gold or silk. However, both are allowed for women.

For both men and women, clothing requirements are not meant to be a restriction but rather a way in which society will function in a proper, Islamic manner.

III&E Brochure Series
(Published by The Institute of Islamic Information and Education (III&E) and reproduced in electronic form by Islamic Academy for Scientific Research with permission)

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